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I have been friends with a woman, a person who's overcome many challenges, which I admire. However, she has been often blindsided by people. Her spouse left her, and it was a massive blow. A lot of close acquaintances drifted away at that point, because they seemed focused solely on her husband. It shocked her deeply. She made more effort to be my friend, probably realised better the essence of true friendship.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

Throughout this period, many in her circle have drifted apart and she isn't certain of the reason. Her previous job turned on her, despite the fact that she was an excellent employee, she departed unaware of what had changed.

Present Situation

Lately, we've both stepped back from work so we're spending each other more, however, I feel my role between us is to listen. I open topics of conversation only for her to redirect them to things she cares about. In terms of politics, she has unyielding views. I attempt to suggest verifying facts or other angles.

She is planning a trip to a country I know well on several occasions and lived in previously. I attempted to share insights, yet it was met with resistance. She purely solely sought validation of her decisions. I recently come back from a month in that place she is eager to meet, however, I hesitate.

Considering the Choices

I don't want to act as a friend who cuts and runs abruptly, however, I feel she'll truly comprehend the impact of her behaviour on my self-esteem. At this point, I am in pulling back. What should I do?

Potential Solutions

It's possible to walk away, but it is rarely the easy answer that we desire. Yet having a direct talk aiming for a solution takes courage and openness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates applying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Initially is to state what typically happens in your conversations. It should be as factual as possible like what a recording device would replay. Step two is to tell the way it leaves you feeling. Ideally, there's no disagreement on this point. Emotions belong to you, of course. Step three is to question how you are both will alter the interaction of your friendship."

Remember that she also has her own side, so you need to be prepared to hear that. One effective method is to say her:

"Now you talk and I promise to not say anything for a set time."

It's remarkably impactful for promoting understanding.

Final Thoughts

This person might reject everything, as some people cling to a “survival narrative”: they maintain a story about themselves they're unable to let go of as it feels essential relies on it being the only thing they've known. It's tough because there's no clear path in such cases, mere obstacles. However, she might start out this way then consider your perspective. And even if you don't achieve a fix, it will give you satisfaction knowing you were open and direct.